I will be very honest with you my fam, last week/ this week has been super hard for me. I felt like I didn’t know myself anymore as a part of me just wouldn’t respond when I even tried.
I have heard of how people react when bereaved , how people just shut down and just want to be left alone, how people cry uncontrollably, how people just sit down looking lost for words, how people just sit down and hot tears just roll down their cheeks, angry, yet in a reflective mood and mouth full of praises and adorations to the Almighty……. Guys, this was me last week.
The death of my dearest uncle hit me really hard. This left me with series of questions, anger, and so many words that I couldn’t have spoken. I have always known myself to be a strong person and able to accept and handle anything that comes my way for I believe God will not give you anything you cannot bear but guys, I didn’t realise I could be that weak.
My Uncle was a major part of my life, he was my friend and confidant, my teacher , helper and everything more. Very selfless and always happy. Never seen him sad. I always look forward to speaking to him as I know that I will be cracking a rib from laughing too much. He was so young, active and full of life. He was like my parent’s first child. We all grew up together guys. All these thoughts wouldn’t just let go of me.
Last time we spoke was in January and we really spoke at length. I should have known he was trying to tell me something. God! I didn’t sense it. He was just telling me he would see us soon and telling me to be closer to God. Our conversation was more of a serious talk compared to our funny conversations and everyday bants… I should have sensed it, but then , who would have thought?
I’m glad I’m able to put this down and share with you people. It shows I am healing quickly from the shock. I came to realise that no matter how prepared you might think you are, you can never be fully prepared to accept a loss …Never!!!
Everyone around me was scared, never seen me break down like this before, I cried my eyes out guys, cry myself to sleep , wake up and continue crying….I was shattered and extremely heartbroken.
Taking each day to reflect on my full purpose in life and what I would like to be remembered for when I’m no more. As much as the thought scares me, sadly it is worth being reflective…It helps me retrace my steps and re adjust in case I have derailed from the right path. I have my today to adjust, tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Enough of me guys, seriously how are you all doing? How has your day/week/year been? How is your 2021 going so far? As for me , I feel a lot better today pouring my heart out to you all and you can all do the same if it will make you feel better.
I pray we all have a beautiful day and week ahead. Looking forward to reading from you all in the comment section.
Thanks and God bless.